(no subject)

i have been awake for an hour now
i have a work away day to day
i am minor fucked off by it actually
at around midday i get taken away to a country hotel
where the only of amusing myself until they bring me home again at 8 is to spend money
my money
i don't have that much at the moment
and frankly thats not how i wished my money or thursday evening spent
i'd rather have been somewhere else not endlessly repeating the same conversation (so half of what i do on wednesday then)

hence me staring into space for awhile last night
that and i was tired, so please for the love of god why can't I get to sleep now then????

(no subject)

world con
its soon, when
who's going
etc etc

(no subject)

today went about as well as can be expected
am now sitting here in bad mood
with headache and a possible alcohol bill
its was on the compnay tab, and then it wasn't

was thinking again on my way home
that I am thrashing about in my life
not enjoying it very much
but then my life has not infrequently not been like that

I am selling the car (really truly) soon
and giving up my only piece of freedom and independence
but then no one else has one
so why should I be any different
yes I strive for mediocrity
it will never let you down
but does lead to things like this afternoon
awww crappp