rantspace

was good idea of leatherdolls
wonder if she would let other people use it
or should I just set one up for myself

I just want to go home and drink
but that would mean buying alcohol
and I have no money, having recklessy spent it all on nothing in particular.
It would also involve explaining why to boyfriend
which is hard as there is no reason and there's every reason
I would have to comfort his ego and tell him everything was ok between us (it is but thats beside this particular point) and he hadn't done anything wrong
and I'm not sure I feel strong enough to pamper egos
Or I would have to be sober, which feels like a fate worse than death at the moment.
no hugs or sympathies please
it's just me being in fucked up mood, unsure of self rather than others. I know you all think good things about me
am melachonly and want some anastethic.
just be glad I aint' got internet access at home or you could very long depressed rambly all the things i ever did wrong in my life.
'Ladies and gentlemen I would to express my regerts and guilt to the following little marks on my soul, tori and Gareth, carl layton, marjia minic, steven duncan, steven cromar (any and all the stevens I have ever loved), rachel honeychurch, my aunite margaret and uncle derek . . . .'
you get the idea